I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
