sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
