I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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