it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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