I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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