is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
