I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
