remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
