I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Randomize
