They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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