i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
