he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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