Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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