I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
