is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
