wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
