You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
