He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
