she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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