Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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