Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
