peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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