but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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