Don't you send me to vm
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
