Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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