come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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