remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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