I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
