i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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