i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i think i just lost a toe
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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