Taylor Swift is so right about you.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
