i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize