it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
