I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
