My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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