Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
