I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
