So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
