Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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