She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Randomize
