You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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