Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
