I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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