You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
