just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
