I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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