Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
