Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
