Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
one two three fourrrrnication!
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
