went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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