no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
