would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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