The maid of honor just puked.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
