i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
love makes seman taste better
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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