i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
