Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
