I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
